be pretty silly at work tomorrow. Me hobbling along in heels.

In a wine induced stupper I walked into a door jam. My toe is officially broken. It doesn't hurt as much as it should considering how ugly it is. It will

Actually, Lady, you don't own me.

I work at Nordstrom, and although this does mean dealing with the occasional rude and demanding customer, my general experiences with the people who shop there are good ones. That being said, I dealt with my very own personal Megabeast today. (Kudos to any reader who knows where that's from.) The Megabeast, or Eva (according to her), was trying on a pair of Not Your Daughter's Jeans (a premium denim made for the Baby Boomer generation. Tell your mothers) in one of our dressing rooms and called me in with a problem. The size 12s she was trying on didn't fit. I offered to get her a 14, stating that you want these jeans to fit snug when you buy them because the spandex in them would cause them to stretch about a half size after a little wear. She told me she would absolutely not try on a 14 because she has always been a 12. Instead of telling the Megabeast that she clearly did not wear a 12, I offered to get her another size 12 to see if that particular pair was incorrectly labeled. After trying on the new 12, she agreed that maybe a 14 would be better. This was of course after she stripped down to her skivvies (skivvies = very tiny thong with pubic hair spilling out everywhere. yikes.) in front of me twice. She then wanted me to get her a size xl in the Ralph Lauren blouse she was trying on. After searching our backstock (twice), I came back to her room to tell her that we didn't have any xl's in stock, but I would gladly ship one to her home and waive the shipping costs for the inconvenience. She stared at me briefly, obviously frustrated at our lack of xl's, and said that she'd just take the jeans. After ringing her up and thanking her, I clocked out for lunch since I was already 30 minutes past my 5 hours and legally had to take a break. I went in the back, giggled with a co worker about my very demanding customer, then grabbed my book, phone and wallet and headed for the Nordstrom Cafe. My daily delicious grilled cheese and tomato soup was awaiting my arrival. I was calling Courtney to check in with our plans tonight and right as I was stepping on the escalator, phone pressed to my ear, there was a tap on my shoulder. The Megabeast was there and said "Excuse me, Honey, I decided I want to buy that Ralph Lauren blouse after all. Can you go get it from my dressing room?" Um.... One- I'm on the phone. Clearly. Two- I'm obviously not working. Hence the phone pressed to my ear. Three- don't call me Honey, Honey. I hung up the phone and walked back down the upwards travelling escalator and said "I can see if I can find that for you" with the best forced smile I could manage (thank you years of cheer leading for that gift). I walk her back to the dressing rooms, but when we got there, hers had already been cleared out. I explained to her that dressing rooms get cleared out rather quickly due to there only being a few, but that I would try to find someone to find it for her right away. She got very huffy at this. As if I wasn't already helping her out on my lunch break with all my shit in my hands still. "No, YOU find it and find it NOW." I was so dumbfounded at her lack of brains at this point that I just stifled my giggle and told her that I'd help her look in the rounders on the floor for it. After ten minutes of searching I finally found it, no help from her since she stood there with her arms crossed and foot tapping like a child. I was so frustrated at spending 20 minutes of my lunch with this woman who obviously thought she was someone of some importance, that I handed her the blouse and told her that I was "actually on my lunch break and some other sales person would have to finish the transaction from here"-- pointed her to the nearest register and walked away.

Word to the everyday shopaholic: Sales people are people too. Just because you're maxing out your credit card doesn't mean we have to bend over backwards for you. And even if we do, its not because we want to.